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  • Writer's pictureAubrey Harris

Are You Self-Sabotaging?


Self-sabotage is a conscious or subconscious behavior/belief that blocks you from accomplishing a goal and reaching your full potential.


It's tricky, because self-sabotage makes us feel comfortable and safe in the short-term, but limiting ourselves from making necessary changes in the long-term.


Here are three of the most common ways we self-sabotage:


Avoidance: Denying our problems, challenges and feelings of discontent won’t make them go away. Whether it’s unaddressed trauma, poor mental health or a lack of self-discipline, it will slowly deteriorate your life until it’s investigated.  


Feelings-based decision making: “I don’t feel like it.” - Everyone, ever, at some point in life. A meaningful and successful life isn’t always cohesive with feeling “good” in the moment. Self-sabotage is all about comfort, even if comfort is the very thing making you miserable.


Living on others beliefs: When you look around at your life, is it the life you want? Or is it a life that your family, social media and/or friends condition you to want? We all have values and belief systems shaping our decision-making and perspectives. Be sure that you actually align with the values/beliefs molding you. 


If you plan to consistently overcome self-sabotage, you’ll need to: 


Commit to doing the work: Facing self-defeating behaviors will not be a passive journey.


Every decision is a commitment to growth or stagnancy. 


Go deep: You’ll need to deep dive into your habits, coping behaviors, conscious thought processes and impulsive feelings to thoroughly investigate why you do what you do.


It will take a great deal of patience, emotional intelligence and help along the way.


Shift your perspective from “wanting” to “having”: How will you sustain and prioritize your time/energy when you have the life, money or partner you desire?


Start living in alignment with what you say you want and value.  


“Your new life is going to cost you your old one.” - Briana Wiest, The Mountain is You

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