How To Improve Your Emotional Maturity
Updated: Oct 10
Emotional maturity is a person’s ability to acknowledge, express and self-regulate their emotions and responses to stress in a healthy manner.
This maturity highly influences how we handle conflict, disappointment, and develop secure relationships.
Emotional maturity is not a given with maturing in age. It requires intention and practice to find successful solutions to life’s ongoing adversity.
When emotional maturity is lacking the result is dysfunction in behavior, expectation, and interpersonal skills.
Abraham Maslow suggested that only 2% of adults develop the self-actualization to reach full emotional maturity.
This means a vast majority of the adult population is operating emotionally at an adolescent level.
If you’re looking to improve your emotional maturity:
Learn to cope well: Suppression, avoidance and pleasure-seeking when under stress are sure-fire ways to stunt emotional growth and insight. Learn how to identify and sit with your feelings, challenge cognitive distortions and develop mental/emotional flexibility.
Be an active participant: There are few things in life that we can control. However, a victim mentality deflects responsibility and self-agency. Being willing to recognize your involvement in a situation, good or bad, increases self-awareness that your behavior has influence. Remember, it’s not about blame but owning what little control you have.
Develop self-discipline: Self-discipline is proven to increase confidence and self-esteem while reducing reactivity when other people or situations don’t allow you to have your way. Get comfortable with telling yourself “no,”setting boundaries/limits and holding youself accountable.
Check your relationships: It’s never too late to address conflicts or get feedback about behavioral patterns. Emotional immaturity is a learned or conditioned behavior. Meaning, the people in your life either serve as challengers or enablers of your dysfunction.