In therapy, I've been having more conversations about the concept of authenticity—about how to show up as your true self.
A question that often comes up is, "How do I know if I am being myself?" This thought spiraled into a deeper reflection on the different versions of ourselves that we show in various situations—at work, with friends, family, partners, or children.
Which version, if any, is the real "us"? Do we begin with one version and mold it as we go, or do all these versions represent pieces of us that together create a complete picture?
It’s a complex thought, but let's think of it in terms of the idea of "masking."
Masking refers to the ways we consciously or unconsciously alter how we present ourselves to the world.
While it’s often discussed in relation to neurodivergent individuals, it’s something we all do, sometimes in subtle ways.
For some, masking is not just a social tool but a form of survival.
In mental health, masking can take many forms. It could be someone with anxiety forcing a smile and pretending to be okay when inside they’re feeling overwhelmed.
Or it could be someone with depression going to great lengths to hide their exhaustion and emptiness, so they don’t burden others or face societal judgment.
The masks we wear are often shaped by our environments, adopting different personas at work to appear more "together" or capable.
This raises the question: where do we draw the line between adapting for social norms and hiding behind a mask that doesn't let others see our true selves?
Being mindful of when we’re wearing masks and when we’re being our authentic selves is key to fostering a healthy balance.
The goal isn’t to be one version of yourself in every situation. But to avoid those different masks draining our energy and preventing us from being seen.
“Masks are essential for a productive functioning society. There is no need to crusade for mask removal, but it is important to know our masks. Know which masks you wear and why you are wearing them. Are you wearing the timid mask because it is socially appropriate or are you wearing it because you are too afraid that your confident self will be rejected? Keep tabs on situations where you are only wearing masks and your authentic self never shows. There are some environments where you may find yourself feeling overwhelmed because you are spending so much energy masking your true self. What are the benefits of these masks and are the masks helping you in any way” - Sara Schapiro-Halberstam
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